FREE SONG PAGE   STRAIT OF GIBRALTAR (Narrative Only $5.00) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hello, and welcome to the Chucktrevino.com  Free Song Page!   Sorry about the bad joke regarding the Five Dollar narrative, heh-heh.  What I really want to tell you is that after downloading this song, the quality of your life is guaranteed to improve or you get your money back -- all $0.00 of it.  And as for thanking me, forget it!  I refuse to accept thanks.  You see, we artistes understand that we are being held to a higher standard than "regular" people, so we must comport ourselves accordingly and give our art away for free (it's not like nobody wanted to buy it -- noooooo!).  That is our artistic burden; we just have to do it, that's all.  There is simply no place for greed or self-aggrandization in the life of this artiste! The Story Behind Strait of Gibraltar: This song is an instrumental depiction of the ordeal of a small wind-powered vessel sailing happily along on a beautiful sunny afternoon somewhere around the narrow little bottleneck that separates the Mediterranean from the Atlantic, known as the Strait of Gibraltar;  just a nice little heavily-laden cargo ship bound for ports distant, maybe carrying fine Iberian wine, or perhaps some extra virgin olive oil from Sicily, and also gold; a lot of gold!  Picture this little boat just a'sailing along there, not a care in the world, everything going just fine, a fair and favorable sou-southeastern wind billowing the sails, the mainsail set and all that great stuff... when suddenly out of nowhere appears a menacing apparition, a ragged looking pirate ship!  A mean-spirited menace indeed, complete with bawdy crew intent on overtaking the little cargo vessel, giving the shank to it's unfortunate sailing men, stealing everything that's worth anything and then setting fire to it's empty ransacked hold leaving nothing but a floating floundering hulk with little piles of smoking, stinking, floundering flotsam and cast-off jetsam drifting forlornly around it, rapidly taking on tons and tons of blue-green sea water, then just a'sinking down, down, down there, descending through the murky depths to finally settle onto its watery grave at the rocky bottom of the Mediterranean.  You know how those pirates are, people; it's all about booty!  They're all just itching to get to work, plundering away while merrily singing fine high-spirited pirate tunes of old, you know:  "yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!"  Great stuff like that. Well, you can guess what happens next:  not wishing to be sliced, shanked, and impaled like bloody bottom-bound skewered and smoked shishkebab, the desperate crew begins to hastily toss overboard everything and anything on the ship that's not nailed down, in order to lighten its load, thereby increasing it's speed, in a vigorous attempt to escape a grizzly fate on the high seas and not end up just another victim of the times!  You know how it is, folks; life's a bitch out there on the high seas but man, you can't just roll over and die, now can you?  I mean, you gotta' at least try to escape don't you, knowing that Big Almighty God, who is just sitting up there in his heaven observing all this merriment, wants you to do your best to cope with all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune which He in his Big Almightyness likes to dish out to all of us... er, some of us I mean, in varying degrees; you know how that Guy is... And that's just exactly what this song is attempting to musically describe!  The endless struggle against satanic evil, which in this instance is merrily taking the form of jocular, drunken, shank-happy pirates, piratically jovial but often misunderstood pirates driven to acts of lunacy and piracy on the high seas, high-spirited but sadly led-astray-could-have-been-fine-upstanding-citizen pirates, good men who struggled hard but finally gave in to the cruel fluctuating vicissitudes of fate, ultimately losing the fight against their submerged bestial natures after trying really hard not to!  Ok, alright, maybe they didn't try all that hard; but hell, life's a bitch out there on the high seas you know, with mountainous waves beating down on you all the time, mountainously monstrous waves driven by the cruel winds of outrageous fortune, big ol' mean-ass sunnuvabitch monster waves just itching to pry you from your little floating wooden haven and wash you overboard into the mean cruel God-forsaken wetness, where you have to valiantly fight off grinning serrated-toothed joker sharks who keep on nibbling at your thrashing feet, just treading water fighting off those toothy sharks who are biting off your little toes one by one there, then finally losing the fight and giving in to your horrible fate, slowly sinking down and down, deeper and deeper into the salty brine until you finally hit the dismal bottom where you'll be quickly gobbled up by ravenous, gluttonous little bottom-feeding fishies of every stripe, shape and colour, awful little fishies with no discernable table manners, woefully unskilled in the proper rules of genteel refined etiquette, having not been brought up in a proper genteel refined way... so, can we really blame those poor misunderstood victims of circumstance, those poor unfortunate pirates?  We shouldn't be so quick to judge others should we, all of us well-fed tee-tottling law-abiding hypocritical bastards!  We really should just be counting our blessings, saying something like: "hey, there but for the grace of God go you and I," right? But anyway... the chase goes on!  Suddenly the sun gets obscured by a mean-ass cloud cover that adds an ominous tone to the desperate proceedings!  The little cargo ship's crew has tossed overboard just about anything that's not nailed down, magnanimously exempting the uppity officers and high-falutin' captain (whom they need to navigate the vessel, of course) in a noble attempt to avoid imminent plunder, mayhem, murder and worse!  The seagulls are squawking, the toothy son-of-a-bitch sharks are just grinning and salivating, the ravenous little fishies are patiently waiting at the briny bottom -- but those poor downtrodden misunderstood pirates are gaining on them!  Their ragged pirate ship has been built for speed you see, specifically designed to overtake law-abiding tea-tottling heavy cargo-carrying slow-mo guys like that, even though they have to haul along all the tools of their trade, things like cannons and balls, muskets with their little round musket balls that have no pointy tips to make entry into your body easier and less painful you know, and their shanking knives and their hacking, stabbing swords, oh man, can you imagine it?  How exciting! But then that big guy God decides to be merciful to those poor law-abiding sailors, and he sends a fortuitous strong wind from the sou-southeast to fill their billowing sails, thus allowing them to achieve the nautical knots (or whatever those sailor guys call 'em [why can't they just say miles per hour like the rest of us?]) necessary to pull away from those poor misunderstood murderous rum-guzzling pirates, so heavily weighed down with all their murderous weaponry!  The pirates begin to lag further and further behind... then decide to call it a day and go rest up and prepare for the big party they've got planned for later that night, where they will surely get even more punch-drunk happy with all their other pirate friends and make riotous merriment, keel-hauling each other and making somebody walk the plank, fun stuff like that.  Hoo!  And so, as the fine little cargo ship speeds away from the danger, the clouds clear up allowing the sun to show its face again, treating the relieved grateful sailors to a delicious evening meal, brilliant shafts of pure sunlight from God's own heavens, making up for the pork and biscuits they had to throw overboard; but heck, it's better than getting shanked by downtrodden, misunderstood but still extremely energetic and opportunistic pirates, and then drowning and sinking to the bottom of the Mediterranean, don't you agree? And after all, doesn't the Holy Bible say something about not being able to fit through the eye of a needle if you get too rich, fat and sassy?  Then you can't enter the realm of Heaven with your camel!  Or something like that, the Bible says something like that.  Words to the wise, people!  (Actually, most of us don't have to worry about scary biblical metaphors like that... I know I sure don't.) So!  Hasta la vista, all you rich sassy little droogie people!  If you have any inkling of musical class you should enjoy this song which, being absolutely free, won't require any wanton acts of piracy to acquire -- just click the link below and you own it!  Merry Christmas. Click Here To Download STRAIT OF GIBRALTAR Click Here To Go Back To Index Text Copyright 2000-2019 by Charles Adrian Trevino.   Strait of Gibraltar Copyright 2003 by Charles Adrian Trevino.   Thanks for putting up with all the unctuous verbosity!  This is chucktrevino.com.